User story:

A year ago I wrecked my life.

I damaged relationships in my family, I broke up with my boyfriend, I lost my job, I maxed out my credit cards, and I wrote off my car. All in the space of a month.

None of it was my fault.

But that didn’t matter, we all felt the pain. Myself, my boyfriend, my friends and my family.

Back in 2017, I was diagnosed with depression. The effect that had on me was quite big. It was like a label I had that made me just think of myself as “depressed” it consumed me. I began to see life as if I was a victim. Everything happened to me. But then last year for the first time I had what psychologists call a “manic episode.” It’s the opposite of depression in some ways. You see, actually I am bipolar, but I didn’t know that until that month when everything broke and my life exploded.

Being bipolar means you are subject to extreme mood swings. It’s a mental health condition that used to be called “manic depression.” It’s like you are on a life rollercoaster that goes from massive emotional highs (mania) to massive lows (depression). I don’t know if my depression somehow just turned into bipolar or what happened. But my friends and family didn’t know what hit them. In that manic episode last year, it was like I had no way of making sensible decisions. That’s why I lost my job, walked out on my boyfriend, spent too much money and crashed my car. I ended up moving from one friend’s couch to the next until it all caught up with me.

Finally, I was institutionalised. I spent a month in a mental hospital and that plunged me down into the depths of despair and depression. When I came out of the hospital last year I felt utterly defeated. I now had another label that ruled my life. But, it wasn’t just something about me – it was me.

“I AM bipolar”

The effect that that label had on my sense of identity and self was even worse than the label I had with my depression before.

I was in a dark place for months.

During that time my mom started Mygrow through her work, and I could see the change it was having in her. When she told me about it at the beginning I just thought “hey, I need that too.” But it’s the change in our relationship that made me sign up for my own Mygrow account. You see I have never really had much relationship with my mom before, at least not a very close one. But because of how she was growing her Emotional Intelligence we were able to have some hard conversations that we had never been able to have before. That was what made me decide to start the process myself. I signed up for a free trial and when I saw fruit in myself I changed to a paid subscription.

“Slowly I have been clawing my way to a healthier way of seeing myself and the world around me. Now I realise that there is so much more to me than the label ‘I AM bipolar’ –  that’s just one thing about me.”

Before Mygrow I was always the victim. One of the things I have learned (which has really made a difference for me) is the idea of our “locus of control.” It really blew my mind. But this isn’t just some idea that is interesting, I have actually changed the way I act as a result of understanding what it means to have an internal or external locus of control. I used to think everything just happened TO me. That I had no power over anything. That’s what it means to have an “external” locus – like the “control room” for my life was somewhere outside of me and I wasn’t in it. Now I realise that yes, while some things do happen to me, I also have a choice in how I will respond. I have the power to shape some things too, and that has made such a huge difference for me.

Now, three months after being on Mygrow my life has turned around.

I am back with my boyfriend. He said that he has seen my maturity and can see that although I am the same person I was, I am also completely different. He said it’s much easier to chat with me. So naturally, we are getting along so much better than before.

My relationship with my mother has continued to improve, too. We talk every day and we even go out and do things together. We never did that before.

My relationship with my grandparents is also a lot better.

But the biggest relationship shift has been the one with my dad. Before I was hospitalised I had absolutely NO relationship with him. He was an absent father and I had written him off. He and my mother weren’t in much contact either. When I went to the hospital they started communicating again and he started taking an interest in my life. But I think if I hadn’t been on the Mygrow journey I wouldn’t have responded to his renewed interest. I would have still seen him and his actions the way I always had. I think the growth I have had through developing my EQ has made me less judgemental and more understanding, helping me change the way I see him. This has allowed me to give him another chance, and things are going well. I am really grateful for that.

Everyone around me has seen a change in me. Colleagues at my new work have mentioned how I have grown. One newish colleague who only recently joined us (but before I started Mygrow) has said how she can see growth in my assertiveness (she doesn’t know my story, or that I am on Mygrow).

My therapist is impressed and very happy with my growth through Mygrow. I even showed him my EQ assessment and we use that together to continue my progress with him. So I am getting growth from both my Mygrow platform and my therapist at the same time.

I am thankful for Mygrow and the benefit it’s had in my life and my important relationships. It’s not that Mygrow is the secret to success, it’s more that Mygrow is helping me to build my own success. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. Inward and Upward

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