User story:

I used to lose it. Now I listen.

In the past, I would react impulsively whenever I was triggered. My relationship with my partner is obviously where this had the biggest impact and damage. Like many couples, we have had some recurring … “arguments” …over the years. (If I’m honest, “argument” might be too tame of a word – there is shouting involved :). Mygrow has helped me to not only understand what’s going on inside me in those situations, but given me the tools to stop reacting like that.

I have always experienced my partner as jealous. I work in a context with a lot of men and this has been difficult for him. So sometimes he makes comments that make me really angry, really quickly. I feel the anger rising up in me very quickly when I feel like I am being accused. Mygrow has helped both of us deal with this.

Now I have a much better understanding of my triggers – how old events in my past are still influencing my current behaviour (I have been surprised at how far back some of these events go, and still affect me.)  But the EQ techniques and practices on Mygrow have helped me to overcome these triggers. I even use the techniques in the moment when I begin to feel that trigger being pulled. They help me “walk back from the edge.” 

“When you grow, others around you grow too. That’s what Mygrow has done for me.”

But it’s not only me with triggers – it’s not only me that has changed. 

Recently my partner and I had another “discussion”  that was heading into “fight” territory quite fast. But instead of responding immediately, I listened, I waited till he calmed down and I asked him what made him jealous like he was. We talked. He shared about his previous marriage and divorce (15 years ago) and together we worked through how his feelings today are triggered by his experience back then. At that time of the divorce, he felt as if everyone other than him was more important to his ex-wife. He felt like he meant nothing, and ultimately she chose to leave, instead of working it out with him. That’s how little he mattered. By talking it through with him he began to understand some of his own triggers. He said, “I didn’t realise that would still be a problem today.” He even apologised for taking out his old hurts on me.  My growth journey has helped him understand his own triggers too.

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