We spent some time with Subashnee hearing her growth story and the impact that Mygrow has had on her life. The following is what she had to say, shared with her permission.
I am so grateful to TFG for the opportunity to go on this growth journey with Mygrow. At the start I didn’t know much about Mygrow or the impact it would have on me as a leader, but as time progressed it became evident that this was going to be a life changing experience for me.
One of the things that I like about how we have done Mygrow at TFG is that we all embarked on the journey together. We did it as a team, and we all started at the same time. Many people initially viewed Mygrow as a ‘work thing’ and maybe another responsibility that was now being added onto their already busy schedules. I decided to go on the journey of development for myself. For my own growth and personal development.
The power of consistency
I committed upfront and because I like to be diligent and do my very best at everything that I do, I decided that I would set time aside every day for my Mygrow droplet. I have found that it gives me the right start to the day and the chance to live out the things that I am learning and growing in. It has become second nature for me and gives me the boost that I need each day.
I naturally love challenges and I have a very competitive streak, which meant that I found the leaderboard and Growth Score very motivating. I have always been someone that needs to be number one, and winning is very important to me. I do what needs to be done in order to get the results that I set my mind to.
Being released from this pressure has actually been a big part of my Mygrow journey. I found that the Growth Score motivated me, but I also really battled if my score went down for some reason. In fact, on a couple of occasions when I was unable to complete my droplet, I was distressed and very disappointed in myself. I even felt a bit embarrassed, especially when someone said that it’s not like me to be ranked number seven, and it felt like I was a ‘failure’ in others’ eyes. I almost always managed to do my droplet, and if anything interrupted my progress or caused my score to decrease, this had a significant impact on me. I was stuck in a cycle of perfectionism and the need to perform.
Overtime I became aware that this was indicative of something in me that needed to shift and change as I was growing. I realised that I put a huge amount of pressure on myself, and maybe also on those around me. I have incredibly high standards, and as much as this is not something that I want to change about myself, I needed to learn a new and healthier way of realising my goals and standards. My way of doing things often meant that I didn’t establish suitable work boundaries. At times I would snap at people from frustration and irritation when things were not going according to my plan.
I was also very challenged by the fact that I could only complete one droplet each day. I wanted to do them all at once, and in fact, right at the start someone joked and said, ‘Subashnee will complete these courses in two days’.
It was in the Self-Regard and Self Compassion modules that I gained massive breakthrough in this area. Previously, winning was everything to me but something shifted when I realised that winning wasn’t what was most important. I recognised that I did not need to be number one anymore. I found a sense of peace in realising that actually what matters to me is being in tune with myself, and that life is a journey of discovering and improving myself.
My Mygrow learnings go far beyond the Growth Score or my being at the top of the leaderboard. I still want to give everything my best but not at the expense of other things that matter to me. Over time I am learning to not be so hard on myself, or others. I am discovering what it means to show myself compassion. In doing this I now have compassion to share with others too. Mygrow taught me that you cannot give to others what you haven’t given first to yourself.
“I still want to give everything my best but not at the expense of other things that matter to me. Over time I am learning to not be so hard on myself, or others. I am discovering what it means to show myself compassion. In doing this I now have compassion to share with others too. Mygrow taught me that you cannot give to others what you haven’t given first to yourself.”
This has played out in numerous ways practically in my life.
In November 2021 my father passed away. We were really close and this was a significant loss for me. In spite of this I would usually have curbed myself and ignored my needs by only taking the three days compassionate leave allowed me, and getting on with life. Instead, I thought it through and decided that everyone knows my commitment and that I have proven my work ethic, that it was okay for me to take the time to mourn properly and be with my family. I was off work for three weeks. I needed this time and I’m so glad that I took it.
Some other changes and growth in me are that I speak slower, I am kinder to myself and to others my temper is more under control, and I find myself walking away from heated situations no longer needing to have the last say. I’m at peace with myself and what others think of me.
Instead of waiting intently on a Sunday to check the TFG reports that come out at 09:00 sharp, you can find me having breakfast with my family, and once that is finished I do what I need to do. I put my phone away when it’s family time, and have greater balance in my life.
I’m currently number one on the leaderboard, but I don’t need to be. I still meet all my deadlines, I still bring my best, I have just found a better way to do it.